CD Review: Hawthorne Heights "If Only You Were Lonely"

On Hawthorne Heights' debut album, The Silence in Black and White, they may have become the most reviled emo band on the face on the planet. No lyric was considered out of bounds for hardcore screaming, nothing too cliché; "cut my wrist and black my eyes" from "Ohio is for Lovers" was delivered without even a hint of irony. Yet somewhere along the way, Hawthorne caught on, especially with high schoolers eating up all the melodrama in the video for "Niki FM" and asking for seconds. In essence, Hawthorne was more marketing than band.

Now, it has returned with its sophomore effort, called, not surprisingly, If Only You Were Lonely, which debuted at number three in the country its first week out. The only thing you need to know? Song titles include "Saying Sorry," "Dead in the Water" and "Where Can I Stab Myself in the Ears." A sample lyric: "You don't have to speak/because I can hear your heartbeat/fluttering like butterflies searching for a drink."

The only points the band gets is for learning enough about irony to create a song called "We Are So Last Year," and toning down the screaming so more soccer moms will approve the disc for their prepubescent daughters, who are pining for more music from charisma-challenged front man J.T. Woodruff.

The CD comes in both "boy" and "girl" versions. Why do you desperately need both? Because, and I am not making this up, each version's liner notes only contain half of a story about two star-crossed lovers. So to find out the whole thing, you need to buy the same CD twice. Get it? As those Guinness guys would say, "Brilliant!"

Grade: D

This review first appeared in the March 23, 2006 edition of the Marquette Tribune.