I Guess This Is Growing Up

This first CD I owned was Ace of Base's The Bridge. Although I hadn't heard any songs off it, I knew "The Sign" rocked my fifth-grade world, so this album must be good too.

The Bridge was priceless to me at the time - although I just found out you can buy it for 1 cent on eBay. Actually, you can have my copy for free.

I had just gotten out of the phase where the only music I knew was the "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers" theme song and whatever my dad was listening to at the time (Elvis).

However, when I told classmates that I liked "The King," they laughed at me. They didn't play this "Elvis" on Z104, and I was immediately made an outcast (although the huge glasses and premature mustache weren't helping either). Plus it was Catholic school, so most of the kids were jerks. But I didn't know it at the time.

Luckily, I was also somewhat of a rebel - I once got a 40-minute detention in the fifth grade for answering "stripper" when my teacher asked, "What are some high-paying jobs?" My teacher was a nun.

When I heard "Push" by Matchbox Twenty in seventh grade, it changed my life.

This guy, this Rob Thomas, had it going on. Not only did I love every song on Yourself or Someone Like You, but he totally made wearing guy-liner look cool. When I proclaimed my allegiance (by buying a band T-shirt and wearing it!) to Matchbox, I thought I'd get some respect.

Instead, kids laughed at me. I was immediately made an outcast (although the pimples and premature beard weren't helping either). Of course, it was a public middle school, so all the kids were jerks. But I didn't know it at the time.

Hadn't I heard of ska music, they asked? Like the Mighty Mighty Bosstones? So I went out and listened to ska music. Holy crap, does that stuff suck.

Then I found a band that could express my inner anguish: rap-rock pioneers Limp Bizkit. "Give me something to break!" they cried. It was the anti-Britney and *NSYNC, which was something new.

Everywhere I turned there was Justin Timberlake. Girls were chewing gum with his likeness on it. They were reading magazines all about him. They bought every one of his band's CDs. They went to all his concerts and swooned over him. At least that's changed.

Once I got to high school, I realized most people were jerks and I stopped caring if they liked the music that I did. Plus I got contacts and facial hair was made cool, so I wasn't immediately an outcast.

It was my turn to laugh at them. There was always something ironic about Creed's "With Arms Wide Open" playing during the high school dances. People knew that song was about having a baby, right?

Maybe that's why the teacher chaperones always made sure people weren't grinding too heavily.

Papa Roach's "Last Resort," became popular. "Cut my life into pieces!" they yelled. What were the kids at my high school cutting their lives into pieces for? Deciding which cell phone plan to get?

Boy bands were replaced on the radio by rap stars featuring some songstress singing the chorus. This allowed white guys to dress like they were Ja Rule and talk about popping E.

Those who had access to drinking discovered country music.

And suddenly, if you listened to Elvis, you were unique.

Near the end of high school I discovered this band called Dashboard Confessional playing this new kind of emotional music. Certainly, I thought, this type of music would never get played on the radio and I would never have to worry about people laughing at me for it.

Damn it.

Back to Ace of Base.